halofanonfandomcom-20200223-history
User talk:The Phox
Feedback regarding the UNSC Silent Fury G'day mate, and welcome to Halo Fanon! I've noticed that you posted a breakdown of your custom ship, and since I often work on UNSC ships I felt like I can give you some feedback on your idea. Be warned: while a lot of it is focusing on the shortcomings of your article and what it does wrong, I have organised it to tell you exactly what you need to do to fix it. Feedback regarding the UNSC Silent Fury . For all intents and purposes, it's a sniper ship - which is exactly what it takes to make this concept work while still being realistic and interesting. ##Also, look at other ships on to get an accurate understanding on what you should expect in terms of specifications. Anything that appears in is a good place to start. #Your ship is too small to be a cruiser, since the smallest cruiser is about 1.17 kilometres. You should change its hull classification symbol and class to something smaller, like a Destroyer (DD), Frigate (FFG), or more suitably Prowler (PRO). #If the Silent Fury encountered it, then ONI alone would believe their crew by looking into the ship's sensor logs, which is clear-cut proof on the Flood's existence. Also, the UNSC did not know about the Flood until their emergence during the Battle of Installation 04, so I'd recommend removing this. #If you want to go ahead with the 'going rogue' plotline, which I don't really recommend you do with this, then I gotta tell you that this isn't going to realistically work. A massive personnel transfer with people that are loyal to you is very hard to keep quiet, especially since ONI will likely run a background check on anyone within the UNSC to determine their loyalties. Not only that, but killing off those who you don't like is pretty much the dumbest thing you can do: any suspicious death is going to get your ship grounded, records searched, and personnel interrogated in order to find the culprit. A string of deaths is going to be taken even more seriously. Of course, you'd need to rethink the motivation for him leaving the UNSC too, since the one you've got can't work. ##What would be better is to get to know who you're working with, at least the officers, and then try to work from there. Identify people who would resist you or ally with you and figure out a way to mitigate them. For instance, build up a reputation for honesty, so when you go rogue you can lie to people more easily. #Destroying a CSO-class supercarrier while under construction is not going to fly. Those things would be protected by an entire fleet alone, with a substantial ground element to protect them from saboteurs. ##Get rid of it. #The would destroy any sensitive data the Halcyon-class cruiser carried the moment it was attacked, so to randomly find a blueprint aboard it would be incredibly convenient. Not only that, but how can Insurrectionists fabricate the munition when they would only have basic manufacturing facilities, let alone the level of skill and experience with the weapon needed to modify it. ##Get rid of it. #So the whole thing was a test? ONI allowed them to steal not only the most advanced ship in the UNSC Navy and incredibly highly-classified blueprints, but to also potentially share the ship's secrets with Insurrectionists while allying with them? And the guy didn't even try fleeing as well, considering that their ship would be incredibly easy to recognise since no other warship has been made from the frame of a prowler? And then ONI pardons them despite how they attacked other UNSC assets, which shows that they are hostile to them? What? ##I'd recommend removing this entire plotline, it makes no sense from anyone you mention and only serves to bring them back into the UNSC. It's a case of jumping the shark. I know a lot of this will seem daunting if not completely unfair, but please understand that by making all these changes, you'll be doing yourself a favour and actually make a lot better article. Chiefly, it's not interesting reading about an over-the-top history that has very little grounding or logic, paired with a ship that can kill entire fleets with very little effort. If you don't like what I have suggested, fair dinkem, find another way to take it. It won't be allowed on the wiki in its current form though, not without changes of some kind.}} Feedback on the Orion-class destroyer G'day mate. In case you missed it, I have posted some feedback regarding your article here: Talk:Orion Class Destroyer. Most of it is quite trivial - a lot of it is just composed of nitpicks that don't require a whole lot to fix, so good work on it. Ship